


Your Voice is Driving Me Insane

by ahintofsage



Category: Naruto
Genre: Banter, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Nicknames, Songfic, and suigetsu is clueless, sasuke is emo, this can be read as Platonic or Romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:22:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29813223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahintofsage/pseuds/ahintofsage
Summary: Sasuke has just achieved his goal of killing his brother, and he comes back to team Taka shaken up with brand new ideals. Suigetsu tries to figure out what's going on in his head.
Relationships: Hoozuki Suigetsu/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Your Voice is Driving Me Insane

**Author's Note:**

> I never see enough SasuSui fics so of course I had to be the change I want to see in the world. This is just my take on what went down between Itachi's fight with Sasuke and team Taka's attempted abduction of Killer Bee. Also a songfic based on "Be Nice to Me" by The Front Bottoms because I live in 2012. Enjoy!

_Sasuke_

_I got boulders on my shoulders_

_Collar bones begin to crack_

_There is very little left of me and it's never coming back_

Sasuke had laid himself down in the back of the hideout they were staying in for the time being. It wasn’t comfortable by any means, but as the adrenaline faded from his system and the emotional exhaustion set in, he felt like he could sleep just about anywhere. He tried to close his eyes, but every time he did, all he saw was Itachi. Memories of their youth intermingled with the gruesome scene of his death; it was too much to handle. He had taken to staring at the ceiling, trying to analyze the texture of the stone, the color, all the chips and cracks, anything to keep his thoughts from racing back to his brother.

“Hey, Sasuke, you okay?” Suigetsu’s voice echoed against the cavern’s walls. What the hell was that supposed to mean? He propped himself up on his elbows and saw Suigetsu standing in the entryway on the other side of the room.

“What do you want?” Sasuke asked stiffly. Suigetsu rolled his eyes and went to sit next to Sasuke, who had now rested his back against the wall.

“Just bored. Karin’s still on guard duty and I don’t start for another half hour, and I’m certainly not going to go talk to her.” Suigetsu huffed.

“What makes you think I want to talk to you?” Sasuke grunted. Suigetsu swung his arm around Sasuke’s shoulder’s and jostled him a bit.

“Why wouldn’t you? I’m a joy to be around. Besides, I missed having you around when you were gone.” Suigetsu crooned. Sasuke shoved him off with a grunt. “Now you’re back, and I can’t say I’m not curious as to what all went on in that time. All of a sudden you want to join the Akatsuki and destroy the leaf village?”

“What’s it to you?” Sasuke growled. Suigetsu was starting to get on his nerves.

“Hey, I have no qualms with you destroying the leaf village. I just don’t know what happened to all the hatred you had towards the Akatsuki. I have my own ambitions too, you know, and one of them includes getting Samehada from Kisame at all costs.” Suigetsu defended. Sasuke sighed. He supposed that Suigetsu had a right to know about what had changed, as much as he didn’t want to talk about it.

_There are certain things you ask of me_

_And there are certain things I'll lack_

_The beginning, we were winning_

_But now I'm just making up facts_

“Madara told me the truth about Itachi. He was used. The leaf couldn’t handle their own problems, so they betrayed my brother and my clan. It seems Itachi wanted me to protect the leaf after I ended his life, but I can’t honor that. They need to pay for what they’ve done.” Sasuke snarled, glaring straight ahead.

“Well sure, but why do we need the Akatsuki to do that? What exactly are you planning to do?” Suigetsu questioned. Sasuke’s gaze turned to him, still hard with the same glare.

“I’m going to execute the village elders and the Hokage. As far as the rest of the village goes, they can deal with it themselves. Madara has ensured me that he will provide valuable assets to our team, assets that we will need if we intend to reach our goal. We will talk about it more at our meeting tomorrow.” Sasuke retorted.

“Listen, how do you even know that Madara was telling you the truth? Maybe he just wanted you on his side. And besides, even if Itachi was used, he still made the choice to-“ Sasuke’s eyes lit up with fire and Suigetsu stopped talking.

_What's it matter anymore?_

_If you believe the lies I tell_

“You think I fucking care anymore about the choices my brother made? Those leaf bastards ruined his whole life- ruined MY whole life- because they were too incompetent to take care of their own village.” Sasuke was suddenly furious. Suigetsu leaned away from him and put his hands up in defense.

“Hey, I’m just saying, what if Madara is trying to use you now? Surely Itachi wouldn’t want you to end up a pawn just like him.” Suigetsu offered, trying to cool Sasuke down. It was too late for that, though, Sasuke’s eyes were now blazing, his Mangekyo Sharingan almost

seeming to glow in the dimly lit cavern.

“Don’t use that word to describe Itachi Uchiha ever again, or I’ll kill you.” Sasuke barked. Suigetsu furrowed his eyebrows.

“Seriously? You were just talking about how we need assets to reach our goal. I was under the impression I was a valuable asset.” Suigetsu hissed, crossing his arms.

“As you should be aware, even the best sources of manpower are replaceable. So don’t piss me off.” Sasuke replied with the same venom on his words. He wasn’t sure if he meant what he said. Suigetsu was one of his most powerful allies, but his thoughts were clouded with anger and hurt. What he’d said seemed to shut Suigetsu up, so he took a moment to regain his composure.

_If we all left it alone_

_I'm sure it'll work itself out fine_

_We keep playing with the numbers_

_We are running out of time_

“Suigetsu, let me try to get this into your thick skull.” Sasuke sighed. “We need the additional power that the Akatsuki offers. They also have six of the tailed beasts, which would be a huge advantage for us to have access to.”

“Why the hell would you need a tailed beast to kill a few geezers?” Suigetsu started laughing, but stopped as Sasuke shot him another icy glare.

“Don’t underestimate the elders of the leaf. I know firsthand they’re a force to be reckoned with. Perhaps given the threat of a tailed beast attack, they’ll be willing to sacrifice their lives for their dear village, just like my brother.” Sasuke sneered.

“Well if that’s the case, why do we need the Akatsuki? There’s no guarantee they’ll just give us a loaner tailed beast to do as we please with, and there’s still three left, right? We could just go capture one of them on our own. Hey, didn’t you say you know the nine-tails jinchuriki? We could-“

“Suigetsu, we’re running out of time!” Sasuke screamed, interrupting Suigetsu, who had a puzzled look on his face. He looked like he was about to start talking again, so Sasuke clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Shut up and listen to me. The Akatsuki’s plans have been in motion for years longer than we have even been alive. They’re just now coming to fruition, and quickly. If we don’t accomplish our goals as soon as possible, their goals will be reached before ours. They will dismantle the leaf village themselves, and I will never get my revenge. I’ll have to live the rest of my life knowing that Itachi died for nothing. I killed Itachi for nothing. If those monsters don’t receive the displeasure of dying at the hands of an Uchiha, I don’t know how I’ll ever find peace.” Sasuke shouted. “That’s why we have to join the Akatsuki, dumbass, to ensure their goals don’t interfere with ours!”

“Can I talk now?” Suigetsu asked, his voice muffled by the hand over his mouth. Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows, but took his hand away.

_But you're a killer and I'm your best friend_

_Think it's unfair, your situation_

“Sasuke, you managed to take on your brother alone and come out on the other side. I know that wasn’t easy, physically or emotionally. Just imagine what Taka can do when we all work together. Hell, look at what we’ve already done, just the four of us! There is no doubt in my mind that we will help you find that peace. We can crush the leaf village on our own. I promise I won’t let you down, Sasuke.” Suigetsu spoke softly, as if to a child. It was slightly infuriating, but Sasuke could tell Suigetsu was just trying to diffuse the situation in his own stupid way. But he wasn’t getting the point, so Sasuke decided that rather than yelling, he would try to meet Suigetsu where he was at.

“I’m not saying we aren’t capable of doing it on our own. I’m saying that at the pace the Akatsuki is setting, there’s no guarantee that we will accomplish our goals before they do. Besides, Madara was on about creating a new world, and I’m still not sure what the hell he truly meant by what he said. But if we aren’t included in their goals, who’s to say how we’ll be treated in this new world?” Sasuke took deep breaths as he spoke, but Suigetsu was quiet, and his expression had changed.

“You said you wouldn’t let me down. As the leader of Taka, I won’t let you down by going into this mission underprepared. We need the strength of the Akatsuki and we need to collaborate with their goals, because failure is not an option. Or didn’t you hear that the mist has changed their ways? I doubt they would welcome you back with open arms. In order to prevent that, we have to team up with the Akatsuki.” Sasuke explained. Suigetsu now looked extremely agitated, and he took a deep breath.

_You say I'm changing_

_Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same_

_Can we talk about this later?_

_Your voice is driving me, driving me insane_

“All I’m hearing right now is a whole bunch of cowardice. You don’t trust in your team’s abilities. Hell, it sounds like you don’t even trust in your own abilities.” Suigetsu rebuked. This relit the flame of anger in Sasuke’s gut.

“Dumbass! What is it going to take to get you to understand that this is the only option?” Sasuke yelled.

“No, here’s something YOU need to understand, Sasuke. I didn’t sign up to join the Akatsuki, that wasn’t in the plans at all.” Suigetsu shouted back, standing up. Sasuke rose to meet him and came inches from his face.

“Things change, Suigetsu! And in the past few days of my life, things have changed a hell of a lot. Didn’t you hear me say I’m trying to make things better for you too?” Sasuke spat, furious again.

“You seriously think that’s what you said? Sasuke, everything you’ve said so far has been about you.” Suigetsu snarled.

“I can protect my team and my ambitions at the same time.” Sasuke replied. Suigetsu raised his eyebrows and snorted.

“Sure, but listen, if you care so much about your ambitions, maybe you should take your dead brother’s advice and stay the fuck away from the Akatsuki. Apparently he means a lot to you now, and you’re still going to betray him?” Suigetsu snapped. Sasuke’s eyes went wide and he took a step back. He was now livid.

“How dare you. Who the hell do you think you are, huh? Who the hell are YOU to tell ME how to best avenge my dead fucking family? You think you can do it better than me? You think you can pull me out of this-this HELL I’ve been living in since I was seven years old?” Sasuke felt his eyes fill with tears of exhaustion and frustration.

“Sasuke, I-“

“Come talk to me when you’ve found the corpses of the most important people in your life lying on the ground. Come talk to me when you spend your entire life thinking your brother was a monster. Come fucking talk to me when you finally do the one thing you’ve sworn you always would, only to find out the man you killed cared about you so much he sacrificed his entire life to save yours.” Sasuke was now choking out words through sobs, and finally sunk down to his hands and knees. He heard Suigetsu approach him.

“Sasuke, I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking clearly-“ Suigetsu placed his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, but it was quickly swatted away.

“Get the fuck away from me, your voice is driving me insane.” Sasuke growled. He was at his limit. The emotional turmoil he had been through was about to explode from his chest, and even as Suigetsu was trying to comfort him, all he felt was pain.

“I-Uh, I’ll be up front boss.” As Sasuke heard Suigetsu’s footsteps fade into echoes, he broke down completely, crying into the floor until he finally fell into a restless sleep.

_Suigetsu_

_I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense_

_The hand tries to grip the pencil, but the fingers are too tense_

As the next day passed, Suigetsu noticed that Sasuke was acting no different than usual. In his mind, however, that did not seem normal at all. It was as if their entire conversation the night before had never happened. That was not how Suigetsu wanted to treat the situation. He was planning to apologize in the morning, but when he saw Sasuke walking towards him with the same indifferent expression, his words caught in his throat. He had mulled over Sasuke’s words in his head for hours while on guard duty, as well as his own. He knew he had been way too nonchalant about Itachi, as well as letting his anger get the best of him. He’d just never seen Sasuke show so much emotion. It was surprising to see him break down like that, And after meeting with Kisame and Madara, he was beginning to see that Sasuke was right, and that it truly was in their best interest to join up with them. He knew he had to say something, anything. He just didn’t know what.

As evening came, Suigetsu was tired of waiting for the right words to come. He had never been good with talking to people, but with Sasuke, it worked best to just be straightforward. He made his way to the back of the hideout where Sasuke usually holed up for the night, and found him lying on his back with his eyes closed.

“Hey, Sasuke, mind if I join you?” Suigetsu asked apprehensively, trying to smile. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders but didn’t open his eyes. Suigetsu sat beside Sasuke and hesitated, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Listen, about last night-“

“What happened last night?” Sasuke interrupted. Suigetsu sighed and put his cheek in his palm.

“Don’t be like that, Sasuke, I’m trying to say I’m sorry, okay? You were right, and I was wrong. I’m with the whole teaming up with the Akatsuki thing now. But more than that, I’m sorry about those things I said about Itachi. I was being way too callous.” Sasuke snorted at this.

“Look, my brother died so long ago, I forgot what it’s like when it’s fresh. I was just trying to get you to see where I was coming from.” Suigetsu explained. Sasuke opened his eyes and turned to look at Suigetsu.

_I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet_

_I'd love to tell you stories, but I can't remember how they went_

“Tell me about your brother, Suigetsu.” Sasuke asked. It sounded more like an order, but there was something in Sasuke’s eyes that told Suigetsu he hadn’t pressed any buttons yet.

“Well, I don’t know. He was awesome. He was a mentor and companion to me for so long. It feels like he built a part of my identity in a way. When he died, I was distraught for weeks, I didn’t sleep or eat while still carrying out missions. Eventually I collapsed, and my mother rushed me to the hospital. I woke up with a feeding tube and an IV. That day, I swore that I would rebuild the seven swordsmen on my own. I needed to make him proud. I couldn’t let his memory fade into the bloody mist of that village.” Suigetsu spit out. He was hesitant to answer at first, but the more he spoke, the more he felt a familiar sadness well up in his chest. He felt so stupid for his treatment of Sasuke, the pain of losing a brother never truly goes away. Sasuke sat up and faced Suigetsu.

“How would you feel if you were the one who killed your brother?” Suigetsu had no idea how to respond to that statement, let alone the profound sadness that he found in Sasuke’s gaze.

“All those stories you have with a loved one, all those memories, they all mean nothing once you’ve got the blood of the one you’re remembering on your hands. Every story I used to recall to fuel my hatred is now covered with blood and tears. That hatred is still there, and I will forever hate myself in the way I used to hate Itachi.” Sasuke said, his tone low and unstable. Suigetsu thought that he might start crying again, so he moved in closer and put his hand on Sasuke’s knee.

_You're a flashlight in a dark room or the loneliest black out_

_You were all we had left after it all was filtered out_

“Listen, Sasuke, I’m not claiming to understand what you’re going through. I obviously don’t, considering how badly I fucked up last night. But I do give a shit about you, and you have to forgive yourself if you want to stay alive.” Suigetsu spoke gently. He knew this was true. Even without being directly responsible for his brother’s death, for years he felt that there must have been something he could have done. That kind of guilt can feed on a person until they’re nothing but bones.

“The only person who has the privilege to forgive me is my brother. I don’t have that right.” Sasuke scoffed back, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, you do. You have to look back on your life and realize that you did the best you could with the information you were given. Itachi would want you to forgive yourself.” At the mention of his brother’s name, Sasuke’s head whipped towards Suigetsu. Suigetsu was familiar enough with Sasuke’s murderous glares that he knew that this was a look of warning. Suigetsu knew he had to choose his next words carefully.

“Your brother loved you, Sasuke. He would never want you to hate yourself. At 13, he chose to give his life for yours.” Suigetsu explained. Sasuke’s glare softened into a slightly irritated scowl, and Suigetsu relaxed a little bit.

“Some life it is, huh? A rogue ninja with a hit list a mile long. I’m ashamed that he threw his life away for trash like me.” Sasuke grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

“You’re not trash, don’t talk like that.” Suigetsu shook his head.

“Name one redeeming quality that I have, Suigetsu.” Sasuke sat up and got inches from Suigetsu’s face. Suigetsu couldn’t help but chuckle, and he moved his hand from Sasuke’s knee to his shoulder.

“That’s easy. You saved my life. I felt like such a loser, becoming a pawn for Orochimaru’s sick work. But you- you killed the bastard. That immortal freak finally kicked the bucket and it never would have happened without you. And then, you came to find me, you came to give me purpose and a team. I mean, Juugo’s nuts and Karin isn’t all there either, but it sure beats swimming around in a test tube for the rest of my life. I’ll be forever grateful to you for saving me from that life.” Suigetsu smiled into his words, but Sasuke just looked tired.

“Karin said the same thing to me a while ago. I’m sure plenty of Orochimaru’s former subjects have come to think of me that way. But I’m no hero. I’m just a killer.” Sasuke spoke softly, as if his voice might break at any moment. All Suigetsu could think about was how his hand still hadn’t been swatted away, and it almost seemed that Sasuke was leaning into his touch. Surely this must have just been from exhaustion, but it felt like Suigetsu might finally be getting through to him.

_I'm turning you on in a dark room right before we both pass out_

_I'll turn you on when I need you, but the batteries ran out_

“Hero, killer, those labels don’t matter, Sasuke. You’re resourceful, intelligent, determined, and most importantly, our leader. Taka needs you.” Suigetsu insisted, inching slightly closer and tentatively moving his hand to Sasuke’s upper back.

“Give me a break, Sui. Your narcissist ass would be just fine without me around barking orders and you know it. Hell, you’d probably prefer it.” There was a slight teasing in Sasuke’s voice, and the tension Suigetsu had felt earlier was beginning to fade. Sasuke wasn’t one for nicknames, or really any terms of endearment, but if he was in a good mood, Sui would slip past his stiff tongue every once and a while. When it first happened, Suigetsu teased him relentlessly for it, and he insisted that it was just for convenience, since ‘Suigetsu is too many damn syllables’. Either way, it was an indicator that things were going smoothly.

“You might have a point. But you’re also my pal, you know? I could get by on my own, but it would be way more boring.” Suigetsu laughed, but he felt Sasuke stiffen at his words.

“Pal? Are you insinuating that we’re friends?” Sasuke questioned.

“Well, Sasuke-“

“Because I don’t think you understand what that means, to be friends with someone like me. I don’t curate bonds, I destroy them. I break past them in favor of my own ambitions. I don’t have any friends, and if you think we’re friends, you’re making a mistake.” Sasuke growled, low and cautionary, like a dog getting ready to snap at the slightest move.

_You're a werewolf and I'm a full moon_

_And all your very worst enemies will be gone soon_

  
“You may not consider me a friend, and that’s fine. But like it or not, edge-lord, we have a bond.” Suigetsu spoke tentatively, but firmly. Sasuke might blow up on him for it, but he needed to stand his ground. If he didn’t, Sasuke would be able to tell that he was backing down in an attempt to please him, and he’d take more offense to being treated sensitively.

“Like hell we do. Want to expand on that, pal?” Sasuke’s tone was full of vitriol, but he still hadn’t pushed Suigetsu away.

“Lets take today for instance. Did you or did you not say I could kick Kisame’s ass and get my hands on Samehada?” Suigetsu asked.

“I said you could fight him. I never said you’d win.” Sasuke grumbled, but Suigetsu could tell he was still listening.

“Still, that was awesome to me. It felt like a gift. That’s what happens when you have a bond with someone, being with them is like getting little gifts without the other person even thinking about it!” Suigetsu explained. Sasuke looked at him, confused.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Sasuke scoffed.

“Think about it. When we fight together, we back each other up flawlessly. That’s a gift. Since we’re working towards our goals together, we always have someone to bounce ideas off of and someone to support us when we feel like we’re failing. Isn’t that what’s going on right now? That’s definitely a gift. Our comradery is special to me, and even if you claim it doesn’t, I know that bond exists. I can feel it tethering me to you as we speak, Sasuke. You’re my friend, even if I’m not yours.” Sasuke was quiet for a moment, and Suigetsu began to get nervous, so he backed up a bit and removed his hand from Sasuke’s back. He felt the blood rise to his face as he realized he had basically been cradling Sasuke for the past ten minutes. After what felt like hours, Sasuke began to chuckle, then collapsed on his back in hysterical laughter.

_I think you're changing_

_Don't worry, you don't gotta stay the same_

_Can we talk about this later?_

_Your voice is driving me, driving me insane_

“W-what the fuck, Sasuke?” Suigetsu stuttered. Sasuke tried to catch his breath and put his hands behind his head with a sigh.

“Nothing.”

“Seriously? I just pour my heart out to you and you laugh in my face?” Suigetsu spat, and Sasuke broke out into another fit of laughter.

“Shut the fuck up and say something, bastard!” Suigetsu shouted, standing up defensively.

“Which is it, Sui? Shut the fuck up or say something? I can’t do both.” Sasuke taunted, his eyes still closed.

“You know what I mean.” Suigetsu snarled. Sasuke sighed and shook his head before opening his eyes to meet Suigetsu’s fuming gaze.

“I just think you must be getting soft, because that little speech was awful sentimental.” Sasuke crooned, batting his eyelashes.

“Fuck off, Sasuke.”

“No, I mean it. You sound like a schoolgirl with a crush.”

“Well YOU sound like a dog whining, and it’s driving me insane. So shut up and go to sleep, I’ve gotta go take my shift.” Suigetsu barked, turning to leave the room. He heard Sasuke chuckle and roll to his side.

“Hope you’re not scared of the dark, precious.” Sasuke snorted, and Suigetsu could just hear the smirk on his face. He rolled his eyes and kept walking, not wanting to give Sasuke the satisfaction of a response. He hoped Sasuke didn’t notice that he had a smirk of his own growing on his face. It seemed that all was well between them, and even if Sasuke was an ass about it, Suigetsu knew that deep down, his leader appreciated his company, and that was more than enough.


End file.
